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”Navy Admiral: “The CIA reports that she will begin baking cookies as soon as they break her spirit. There are reports that a foreign consortium led by Famous Amos has been bidding for her secret chocolate chip cookie recipe!”Hammond: “NO!”Air Force General: “Mister President, we cannot allow enemy powers to gain access to Mrs. Buckman’s cookie technology!”Hammond: “We can’t let that happen! The mission is approved, but first ... LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!”Pretty much like everybody in the studio audience, I was laughing hysterically from the moment Marilyn’s picture was shown. Even Marilyn was laughing at it. “I hope your children are seeing this. I am going to want this immortalized in video!” I told her.“You can be eliminated!”Later in the show we had part two of the madness. Amy Poehler, the designated Marilyn Buckman impersonator (this required a wig), was sitting in a prison cell wearing an orange jumpsuit, facing several other prisoners, and they were all. While I am doing that I accidently hit her unbroken hymen with my finger.“OUCH!” she jumps, and starts crying.“I’m so sorry angie, did that hurt?”“y-yes” she says in-between sobs.“I am really sorry, the only reason it hurts is because your still a virgin” I explainedShe stops crying after a while and asks, “what’s a virgin?”“Somebody who hasn’t had sex before” I said “What’s sex” she asks“Sex? Oh sex is something very magical, and it makes you feel real good”“ it feels good? Could we do sex?” she asksJackpot” I thought to myself.“ I guess angie, but you cant tell mom or your mom or dad about this ok?”“Why?” she asks“ because this thing we are going to do is very good but your mom and dad don’t think it is, so you will get grounded if you tell”“Ok, I won’t tell, I promise”With that I lifted her out of the bathtub still both of us naked, and I carry her in my arms, to “my” bedroom and laid her down.“Can I teach you to kiss, angie”? I ask“Sure! I want to learn”So I lay down beside her,.
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